Posts Tagged 'platinum'

Ridin’ the Oregon Trail

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That’s right baby!!!

Sean is no longer a dead beat…At least, not a hungry dead beat.

As of 10:30 this morning I became a proud owner of the Oregon Trail Benefits card.

Meaning…

I get free food…FOR FREE!!!

I know what you’re thinking…”Wait…Isn’t Sean already 250 lbs??? And, doesn’t he NOT need more food???”

WRONG dick

The fact is…

ROCKET SCIENTISTS discovered while working on the space shuttle “Horshack” that just one glance at a person with an OTM card will give the men and women that see the card holder, with said card, so many different types of orgasms, (Vagina, penis, butt, nose, ear, and imaginary orgasms, just to name a few) that you can actually urinate platinum afterwards.

That’ll be my gift to you

$250 a month for food…Jiminy Cricket…That’s gonna buy me alot of Boboli and Nesquik powder!!!


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